BookStalking

I’m pretty sure Kevin Trudeau has never killed a man, just to watch him die. But I wouldn’t put it past him to seriously consider it, and I don’t think it would take more than 45 seconds and quick sideways glance before he went for the watch and wallet.

For those of you looking to jump straight to the sum-up, here it is: This book is not retarded. It just assumes you are. Imagine a Nigerian spam email that was 255 pages long, and you have a good summation of the book. There is just enough sense in the book to momentarily disguise the awesome amount of SILLINESS in the book. Only eat Organic food? Not too wacky. No Sugars or Starches? Fine. 15 enemas in 30 days? Hang on- “Use Dianetics for psychosomatic and emotional ills”? Wait, what? “Purchase and use an Electronic Chaos Inhibitor?”– Well, shoot, that sounds like the best advice yet!

I actually went to www.naturalcuresstores.com to check out this fine… inhibitor. They claim that they are entirely unconnected to Kevin Trudeau. I’m glad he was able to help such fine entrepeneurial souls by advertising them in his best selling book out of the goodness of his heart. I’d provide a deep link to the item in question, but I wouldn’t want the gift of even a smidgen of google page rank bestowed upon these grifters- I mean, business folks.

I called their number, and asked some questions of the poor order taker, who clearly has no idea what an  Electronic Chaos Inhibitor is. I asked what it did, and she put me on hold “ to research that”. I asked how it worked, and she put me on hold. I asked if it used batteries, again, hold time.  Finally, I asked if it was just a rock. There was an awkward pause. After some more hold time, it was revealed that it was in fact, a rock that I could purchase for $99.99.

And then they sold my telephone number to some “make money fast” tele-marketers.

But anyway, since Trudeau almost CERTAINLY has nothing to do with this gang, lets get back to his book.  Unlike his previous books, (Natural Cures “they” don’t… and More Natural “Cures”…) this one actually contains data on the cure.  The other books are mostly advertisements for his newsletters, which he merely charges $9.95 a month for. The Weight loss book contains most of the general information as the others, but also advises getting regular shots with pregnant lady hormone. It’s, um, organic, I guess.

The book has only minor typographical errors (don’t eat “erradiated” food) so, presumably everything in it is intentional. If he wrote fiction, it might not be too bad. He’s got a pretty good paranoid style in the old fashioned conspiratorial vein. His writing is simple and easy to follow. He could be the next Dan Brown. Except of course that Dan Brown has to fight off hordes of people who believe he put elements of truth in his story, rather than the other way around. Maybe they could team up.

To sum up, the book isn’t BAD, in a literary criticism sense. Of course, in the sense that the book will probably defraud the public of their money, injure and possibly kill the reader, and has no redeeming features other than the fact that it is easy to read… in that sense, I might call it bad.

This entry was posted Tuesday, May 15th, 2007 at 12:26 pm and is filed under reviews. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.